Marriage is a beautiful thing when people love each other and constantly put their spouses first in everything, but if it were that simple, we wouldn’t have the number of divorces which we have today. I believe that if couples always put God first in every decision that they make and they both have a common ground on important decisions, they would enjoy their union terribly.
So, everyone has deal breakers. It is paramount that you discuss these things with your partner before getting into marriage. Now let’s jump right into it. These are five things you should discuss with your spouse before the deed is done.
Religion: This is very important. A family that prays together is knitted with a bond that is beyond the physical. They can go through anything life throws at them and come out ok. Many couples begin to encounter problems when both spouses are not on the same page here. It’s either one isn’t religious enough or they both want to worship in different places or one thinks their church is better and so on. This can cause a strain on your relationships, especially when children come into the mix and they are dragged into it all. So talk about it, find a middle ground that won’t be too hot or too cold for anyone of you. Metaphorically speaking. God is love and he should be the centre of your union.
Finances: Two becoming one is literally in everything. Including finances. So you guys have to talk about savings, trust fund for the kids, mortgage, how expenses should be made and so on. If one person makes more than the other or only one person supports the family financially, serious discussions have to be made so that nobody feels down-trodden or the other too highly of themselves. Marriage is all about teamwork. So talk these issues through.
Parenting: Some people want to have children immediately, others want to wait while others don’t want to have at all. We have seen many couples separate because they thought when they finally get married the other will reconsider, but that didn’t happen. So talk about everything. From how many kids you would have, to when you would start having them, to parenting styles and methods, to how decisions will be made about the children. Talk it through.
Goals: Goals and aspirations should not be put on the back burner just because y’all got married or the children came along. So if one person wants to go back to school, or start a business or work harder to get a promotion, you guys have to talk about it and be supportive of each other’s dreams and aspirations.
Boundaries: Clear cut boundaries have to be established with family and friends. Things like “Family dropping in anytime they like” or “Discussing our private issues with your Mama” and all of that. Talk about it.
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Until next time,
I still remain your favourite wedding blogger,
Obianuju.
