“Girlfriend you need to be more careful. The next time I get a call from your phone, it will be the police calling me to identify your body at a morgue. Why are you so absent-minded?” I heard Sheila’s voice like a surfer in the waves. So far away. How did I get here? What made me do it? I wish a video of my life could be played so I could know where exactly the glitch occurred. Mike left, again. And I don’t think he’s coming back this time. The last time I lost a tooth and broke some bones as I tumbled down the stairs. This time, I lost a child. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. We had been trying for a while now. I remember putting my palms tightly over my ears when the doctor told me I lost the baby. I was hit by a reckless driver, thank God I survived.
I haven’t been able to get my husband. His phone is switched off. Drinking off his sorrows in a bar maybe. I messed up this time. I really did. I shouldn’t have let things go this far. I should have been more patient. I could have called my pastors, talked to my dad, any other thing but I decided to the worst. The last time my husband left, it was 23 hours, how long would this be? Would he ever return?
I recall, nine years ago, how sure and certain I was that he was the right man for me. We used to be so much in love. When we would buy Suya and sneak it into the movie theatres. The thrill and excitement of when his lips touched mine. It took the grace of God and the promise we made to each other to wait till marriage. The wedding ceremony was a bliss. When we danced together for the first time to “At Last” by Etta James in front of family and friends, with his hands on my hips, my hands around his neck and our heads together, I knew I had made the right decision.
Nine years down the line, with incomplete body parts and a miscarriage, I wish I could have done better. Is this what people pray for, fight for even. Everyone wants to get married. Everyone thinks it’s all roses and chocolates, sunny days and vacations.
“mobs, mobs, mobs”. Sheila called out my name. “sorry shi, I was deep in thought” “Its okay girl, I have packed your bags and signed you out. The doctor said you are free to go”
As I stood up slowly from the bed. I am thinking what next?
Oh, by the way, my name is Kasiemobi. It means ‘comfort for my heart’, And this is a rough sketch of my life.
I slowly opened the door leading into my home, …..
Next episode out this time, next week. Be on the lookout.