Some Wedding Traditions That Are Overrated

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Hey people, so today, we are going to be breaking tables and shattering them. Lol. For some time, especially been a Nigerian, I have come to believe that the social construct around wedding ceremonies has taken over what the real meaning of the ceremony is supposed to stand for. I mean, weddings are supposed to be a physical representation of the love a man and a woman shares, where they profess their undying love to one another in front of their family and friends and vowing to forsake everything and everyone else. Finish. Where all this rules and regulations came from, I honestly don’t know.

Who said a bride must wear a white gown on her wedding day or that nobody else should wear white because the bride is wearing white? Wahala be like bicycle o. This is the one that causes too much problem. Must your aso-ebi be 350k. You will lose friends because you got married, or bring out the worst in your guests because everyone is hustling to grab what they lost in aso-ebi funds. Grab food or even someone’s rich husband or boyfriend. Biko, must there be aso-ebi sef.

Ehen another one, please this people that make song requests at weddings, shey you people will gather and help me pay the DJ money since It’s your personal stereo? Yes, I am coming for some of our African parents. Did I say some, ALL. Please why must we marry in a stadium. 500 people, 600 people, some Indian weddings even get to 1200 people. Please we need to pray for you people. Lay some holy hands on you and pour holy water. If we don’t gather redemption camp in our wedding, shey we will die ni. Wahala o.

Haa. Set awon “Matopeda” or “Toju foyeh”, that will go and sew my reception dress and wear it to my ownwedding. Don’t worry I have paid extra 100k to give bouncers at the door. You will just have to go back to your house or wait till your wedding to wear that dress. See oppression. Mtcheew

I know you people will say all this violence, ko neccesstri. Anyways, That’s all for my today’s rant sha.. Thank you for coming to my one man show. Bye.

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